The Bleeding Mind

Ahh, the joys of english coursework.

I've been working on this for like two days, and to quote Frankie Boyle: I'm so bored, I think my heart just stopped.

Get this: I've got to write an argumentative letter in response to an article a guy wrote about tramps.

Wow. I don't think there has ever been a more boring coursework assignment. Saying that, my last chemistry coursework was a case study on water. That was pretty mind-numbing.

I can't wait til in two years time I can be doing drama and psychology every day at college instead of this boring shite.

Ahh well, c'est la vie I spose.

I am just so fed up with people at the moment.

I think I must be like a thirty year old trapped in a fourteen year old's body. I find most people my age immature narrow-minded fuckers and it's really pissing me off.

I hate all this bullshit about 'social status'. Me and my best mate were having a rant about it the other day. Anyone who isn't popular, (i.e. doesn't give a fuck about education, hate their parents, constantly in detention, easy) is regarded as completely faceless and worthless.

For example, one of my friends, Gee, who by the way is stunningly pretty and the nicest person I've ever encountered, had this picture on her bebo profile. It was one day ages ago when me and her had had a sleepover, and got a bit excited with her makeup. I put a line of glittery blue eyeliner on her eyelids and put on red lipstick. (We both have to wear exactly that when we do dance shows because of the stage lighting and all that jazz.) Thing is, she really pulled it off, so the taking the piss out of it really backfired. Anyhoo, we took some photos of us looking 'sexy' and she put a few of them in her album on bebo.

Then this bitchy, popular, scene girl, who quite frankly is as trashy as it gets, took it upon herself to tell Gee what she thought of it. She left a comment saying, and I quote: 'You look like a sixty year old wannabe hooker slapping all that shit on your face. Ugly.' Except it was all spelt so appallingly it was hard to read.

What. The. Fuck? That made me so unbeliavabely angry. I felt like going round and punching her into the ground. But I restrained myself (God knows why).

I left a reply to it though, basically telling her to fuck off and keep her (wrong) opinion to herself.

She took offense to that, and confronted me about how no one tells her to fuck off. So I said no one insults Gee like that for no reason.

Do you know what her excuse was?

PMS.

My God, I could have killed her.

However, in the end, I made her apologise, and I apologised for telling her to fuck off and calling her a slut.

Eleven months on, and one of her friends saw the argument underneath the photo, and got involved, calling all my friends who had also stuck up for Gee, 'ugly', 'stupid nerds' ad other things I refuse to repeat. I had a go at her too, because Gee is too lovely and shy to say anything herself. I did so without actually insulting the girl, just telling her it had all been cleared up ages ago and she had no need to say any of that or even get involved.

She told me it was unacceptable for 'someone like me' to even talk to 'someone like her'. Now I'm not at all intimidated by popularity, so I (rather foolishly, in retrospect) put her straight.

It all resulted in her calling her calling me a 'stupid nerd' (which is rather self contradictory) and a 'pathetic cunt'. How exactly I was being pathetic, I'm not sure. It also resulted in both girls searching for me around school for the week or so before the christmas holidays to try and kill me. Now that is pathetic.

Thing is, I think I mentioned before, I've got this chronic fatigue, and have had for nearly ten months now. I saw a psychiatrist about it a while ago, because aparently my energy levels are linked to my mind. He said that if I'm overly stressed, upset or worried, then it can affect me physically.

It has.

Well, that and the fact that my best friend randomly stopped talking to me over something completely trivial and has practically erased me from her life. I'm lucky I've had Gee and Em and some other friends who have been an amazing support.

But all this has led to me having multiple emotional breakdowns, (one in front of a guy I really like), becoming depressed, and basically a complete mess. I cry over everything at the moment. And surprise surprise, it's all left me incredibely weak.

So weak in fact, that I haven't been able to go back to school since the christmas holidays. I'm having work sent home so I don't fall behind on my GCSE's, because I can't cope with school. Mentally, or physically.

I could just really do without this at the moment to be honest. I'm such a wreck as it is.

Hello playmates, Ming here. Ming,mong mango. Bingo bango bongo. Hahah, that's a great song. Actually it's not Ming, it's Sianny. Well of course it is, it's my fucking blog. Who else would it be? I don't know. Bloody hell Sian, just stop talking. I'm not talking, I'm typing. Talking typing, it's all the same to me. Just stop doing it. Okie cokie boss.

Bloody hell, I apologise for that minor blip in my sanity.

Anyhoo, that title could be rather misleading. It could imply that this is gonna be about Faris, but it's not. It's actually about batman. Exciting, I know. Thing is, I was gonna write nana nana etc ... Batman. And then I remembered a funny macro with Faris jumping about in some sort of cape and the caption said nana nana etc ... Badwan. I thought it was rather funny so I substituted it in 'cause I'm magical like that. Hahahah, I said that to my little cousin a while ago and she now thinks I've actually got magic powers. Which of course I have. Metaphorically. Oh my GOD. I'm talking waay too much today.

Hmm, I think I might have that macro. I shall check.
Aha! I has found.

Balls, it won't let me paste it. Ah well, c'et la vie.

Anyway, back to what this was meant to be about. Batman.

My purchase of the biggest big ass batman ring in all the big wide world has just arrived. And I LAAVE it. Muchly so. It's bright yellow with the classic logo in the middle. Well, I say in the middle, it's more sort of all over it.

It's from Culture Vulture, available from Truffle Shuffle which is where I got mine from.

http://www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/store/batman-logo-ring-from-culture-vulture-p-2190.html

^ check it out.

They also do Superman and Spiderman which if like me you're rather keen on super heroes, you'll want to collect them all and wear them all at once (if they'll fit) and fight it out to see which is the best. Well, maybe not that last bit, I think that's just me. I think I might suggest they make a Thundercats one. Or maybe even a Mumm-Ra one? With his sphinx hat and all. Wow, that would be so genius.

But, yeah. They are all very awesome. In fact, just check out the whole website, it's like one of my favourite ever for retro tees and accesories. I got my Wonder Woman bag from there which I use for absolutely everything including school. AND for anyone who has the Mighty Boosh Live DVD from 2006, and rather fancy Noel's uber-cool pacman belt, it comes from Truffle Shuffle and is only £9.99. I've got mine. What are you waiting for?

Oh my Edward. Back a-fucking-gain.

I'm in a very talkative mood today, if you hadn't already noticed.

Anyhoo, my brother just came in to borrow my Mighty Book of Boosh, and it reminded me of a travesty of justice that was brought to my attention last night when I was watching the repeat of the Big Fat Quiz of The Year.

Where the fuck are the Goth Detectives?!

I've watched that show the last few years and it's been great! There's the try hard squares: Rob Brydon and David Walliams/David Mitchell, the ones that think they're posher than the others: Jonathon Ross and Cat Deeley/Lily Allen, and then the lovable rebellious ladymen: Russell Brand and Noel Fielding.

They got hardly anything right, and just caused trouble, but it was adorable and it made the show interesting. Their answers were comedy gold; much better than everyone getting the answer right then moving on to the next question. This year was nowhere near as good without them.

I saw the line up at the start of the show, and it looked quite good: Dara O'Briain, Davina McCall, James Corden, Michael McIntyre, Sean Lock - I like all those people, it looked like it was going to be a good show after all. Obviously not as good without Noel and Russell, but quite good in the sceme of things.

Then they unveiled the last contestant: Claudia fucking Winkleman. I hate that woman. Not only does she think she's funny, quirky and cool, when she clearly isn't, she's got that annoying lazy eye that she tries to cover with a really crap fringe. I know you can't descriminate against people because of their looks, and that isn't why I don't like her, but it does irritate me.

I do yoga with my mum and her friend Becky every week. And Becky went to school with Claudia Winkleman. Apparantly, she was a real bully and bitchy to everyone. Clever, but a bully. That's why I don't like her.

Grr. I say bring back the goth detectives next year. When all this about Andrew Sachs has all blown over and Russell is no longer in the doghouse, obviously.

Hahahah, I have been here rather a lot today.

Anyway, I've recently discovered Mindless Self Indulgence... and they're fucking good!

I love discovering and learning about new music, and my friend sent me Never Wanted To Dance, and said "Listen to this, you'l like them." and I really did! There's been quite a lot of hype about them and Kerrang! are pretty keen on them, but I'd never heard their music before. Now I have, I'm gonna have to go about buying some more of their stuff.

Oh yeah, like I said before, I love discovering new music, so if you know of any good bands that I might not have heard of, let me know and I'll ... well I don't really know what I'll do, but I'll be pretty darn thankful.

xo

"Ooh, your eyeliner looks nice. I like it when you put it all round your eyes, when you just do it on your eyelid it looks a bit funny. This way outlines your eyes, they're a really nice shape, very oriental."

"Are you calling me chinese?"

"Yeah, you fucking gook."

^ A conversation I just had with my mum. I think she may be certifiably insane. That, or just mentally retarded. Mind you, the empty bottle of wine might have something to do with it.

Oh my God. Thank GOD Christmas is over for another year. (Yes. I think the Jesus side of things is bullshit, so it is rather contradictory for me to be thanking God, but c'est la vie.)

Usually I love Christmas, absolutely love it. It's my favourite time of year. But this year, the whole holiday season had just pissed me off. When we put the tree up on the first of December (first of Advent if you believe all that) whilst listening to the Christmas CD, I felt so Christmasy and I couldn't wait for the 25th to arrive. But by about the 10th, I was already sick of the whole thing.

It used to be like a tradional time where all the family you never see come round, you don't like half of them, but there's like something in the air (along with large measures of alcohol) that puts all that aside and everyone just gets on. Just for one day. But now it's become so commercialised, and over-marketted it's just ridiculous.

I mean, I never believed in the 'true' point of Christmas, i.e. the whole Jesus' birthday (apparantly it's actually in September or something) but I believed it was still a time for 'good will' and all that. But everyone just seems to be cashing in on it, and seeing Christmas purely as an opportunity to scam more money out of people. And every year, people fall for it. Every year, they buy way more than they need to, they splash out on stupid little singing decorations that at the time seem funny and worth it, but once Christmas is over, seem like a fucking waste of money. Which they are.

A couple of weeks ago, I was flicking through the music channels - there aren't many I can watch now as most of them are filled with shite - and over half of them were showing "What's Britain's favourite Christmas song?" which was basically about twenty Christmas songs played over and pover and over again on each channel. At one point, three consecutive channels were all playing Shakin' Stevens at the same time. It was fucking ridiculous.

My brother, however, was pretty into the swing of things Christmas song wise, and whenever he put one on in my presence, I just flipped out. I couldn't help it, I'd heard them all SO many times by then, that I hated pretty much all of them.

I feel like a total Scrooge, but Christmas is just really irritating now. Either that or maybe I'm just finally growing up. I don't fucking know.